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The Workplace or the Individual: Who has control?

January 13, 2020

Who has control in the workpleace, control freak, boss control, when my boss has control, when my boss is a control freak, wellbeing in the workplace
In my earlier career when I worked as a business analyst, I worked for a boss that was, frankly, a nightmare. In a small team of very smart people who were tasked with deciding on the IT platform and systems to support a whole number of business changes, she was massively controlling, and it caused great stress amongst us all. She would micro manage, insist on her ways of doing things, lay down a workload that was out of kilter with our capacity, and give difficult feedback almost weekly.  Our voices weren’t really heard, despite the fact that we – and I in particular – represented the voice of the business itself, in understanding its day to day operations and what was important to systemise.

I and my other 2 colleagues in my team were tearing our hair out.

Culturally, we were operating in a very different set of assumptions that my boss was. We were British, she was American. And the long-hours, always-on culture (and I really do mean, always) was not part of what we thought was right or good. Nor was it being checked by the boss’s boss, we just had to get on and deal with it. 2 or 3 years of it. A tough gig.

Her 3 direct reports, one of them me, suffered as a result. The long hours took their toll on energy. The never-ending feeling that we couldn’t do things right took their toll on both our satisfaction in work and in our confidence. The real underlying issue however was deeper than all of this – it was the real lack of autonomy or influence on decision making.  We fundamentally disagreed with her approach to choosing suppliers and the systems that were being considered; the only options being considered were niche systems from the USA that the boss had known previously. Fair enough to consider these in our evaluation, but not to skew the evaluations to give these as the only ‘right’ answer.

In the middle of all of this, my colleagues and I decided that the level of stress was unacceptable. We also didn’t have a lot of hope for change, given we each had tried individually to shift things. And talking to her about it was a complete failure; no understanding, no real listening. Instead we decided to team up together, and to set up a series of experiments to see if we could change the behaviour. Thus we learnt

  • How to say ‘I’m going home now’ , because we all did it at the same time.
It helped enormously to set common boundaries; and somehow the boss was taken off guard because of the consistency between us. After a few weeks, our exit time from the office was never mentioned again.

  • To disagree.
Initially, we never disagreed solely in front of her, we always went in with at least another member of the team.  Once she got used to us not following everything she said to do/decide, it became easier to disagree alone.

  • How to Pop the Stress Bubble
By sharing, we often felt the burden lifting, and we also gained a real perspective. One of my colleagues whilst being a bit rigid in right/wrong, also had a brilliant sense of humour. Boy did that count when we did our daily or weekly ‘5 minute moan’ (reference Monty Python!)

  • Perspective
How to keep it!  We limited our time moaning, and instead turned it into either action, or walking away (in our minds) from the situation.  We helped one another stick to these ground rules. It helped shift our energy towards the positive. In the end, I cannot say we weren’t glad when the boss left to go back to America! But we had helped ourselves to go beyond just putting up with things, we lifted ourselves out of coping towards a level of Bounceback. In this we learnt a lot about our own value and judgement, what it was like to join together in the face of difficulty, and a lot about assertiveness.

Who in the end was the cause of the stress? The boss? The organisation for not spotting what was going on? Each of us?  The answer is all of the above!

Often the boss or organisational culture is the trigger for stress-inducing behaviours, but it doesn’t end with just that, we each have a choice over how we behave and respond. In this situation, we owned our reaction, and recognised that whilst the behaviour was tough we could either be a victim, or at least try to shift it. The latter became easier by accepting that we couldn’t change our boss or the organisation, and by acting on a shared commitment to take responsibility for the parts we could change, including what we could influence. These were invaluable work lessons!
What have you learnt about the lines between the workplace versus yourself on stress-inducing behaviours?

When do you find yourself giving up on the idea of change being possible? Who else might offer a different perspective?

If you consider your own situation in terms of maintaining a healthy working life, where would you draw the lines of responsibility between your organisation’s culture, your boss’s needs (eg for control), versus your own responsibility?

We would be interested in your views!
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Filed Under: Being Resilient Tagged With: boss control, control freak, Improve your workplace, jenny campbell, mental health, mental health workplace, wellbeing in the workplace, when my boss has control, when my boss is a control freak, Who has control, Who has control in the workpleace, workplace, Workplace Wellbeing

Shock! Level of Resilience Demand

November 12, 2018

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In partnership with the Academy of Executive Coaching, we recently carried out a survey on the demand for resilience in the workplace. With over 200 respondents we think the results are a shock. And so we wanted to share them with you.

In reading these results you might have the urge to feel vindicated about your feelings towards your workplace. Stop. Consider your own responsibilities in this. Consider what you need to do for yourself. You can do a lot. Then consider what you might influence.

To provide a frame for the results of the survey, we will use The Resilience Dynamic®:

Many of you have experienced this and its implications through the Resilience Engine services. The model explains firstly that resilience is your ability to adapt; indeed it’s a measure of your capacity for change. It shows a contiguous line of connecting between lower to higher levels of resilience, and it demonstrates how resilience shifts up and down, often according to context. Contained in the model is the idea of different resilience states of Fragmentation, Breakeven, right the way through to the zone where high performance is sustained, Breakthrough.

The last few years of The Resilience Engine work has highlighted that the majority of the working population sit around the Breakeven mark, sometimes at Coping, sometimes at Bounceback, and often oscillating between the two. This is the ‘ok’ state.

In the last few years, we have been discussing what seemed like a trend towards Coping, and indeed not Coping.  Not coping impacts wellness. Sometimes seriously. Not coping may lead to depression and anxiety. There will be a performance drop. And the capacity for change is zilch. Not coping, and further, Fragmentation, are resilience levels that needs to be taken seriously.

The survey shows the following hard data as proof of that trend: a whopping 82% say that the demand for resilience is high, only 10% in total say its manageable.

Within that, 44% of people said the demand is high and rising.

The level is a shock to us. It’s worrying. If this data is an indication of a more general trend, we need to sit up and pay attention. Falling levels of resilience leads to health issues, both mental and physical. What can you do if you feel like this?

A. Notice it. The first resource available to you is to become aware of what you are like when you aren’t coping.

B. Accept it, at least for now. Resilience goes down yes, but it can go up with the help of very pragmatic actions. Accepting your level means that you will invest in yourself more wholly and more wisely. That will lead to an increase in resilience immediately.

C. If you feel you aren’t coping, follow the three steps below :

  1. Remove all non-essential items. For a day, for two days, for a week. For longer if needed.
  2. Connect with your breath. Just notice it, enjoy it, relax in it. For a minute to start off with. Then build up to longer. It will help you widen your perspective, help you see the wood from the trees.
  3. Create space to consider your energy. How can you get more energy for yourself today? it might mean having a laugh with a friend. Or going into nature. Or allowing your house to be a pigsty for a day or two until you rest!

Being Present, and Energy, are shown in the Resilience Engine as two fundamental resilience enablers, no matter the resilience level. Embrace them.

What can you do if you notice others feeling like this?

  1. Help them do the above
  2. If there has been structural change in your team/organisation, spend time – loads of time – helping the person clarify their role, the boundaries of that role, and how they can be authorised within that role. Clarity and autonomy are very important for resilience within the workplace.
  3. If you are a coach or internal Organisational Development consultant, consider building your own expertise in resilience. See our Community of Practice and how to join.

Investing in your own resilience takes a bit of practice, but it’s easy and if you are doing it daily/weekly, you get big pay offs. That will mean for those of you not coping, you will cope better. For those of you with higher resilience, you will stabilise more.

Investing in your resilience is a path to feeling more at ease, no matter what’s going on. Start investing in yourself today.

Author: Jenny Campbell

Filed Under: Being Resilient Tagged With: being resilient, jenny campbell, numbers, Resilience, Stress, workplace

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