“Hands up, do any of the following statements resonate with you?
Or are they part of your organisation’s culture?
Don’t show your emotion unless you’re happy and smiling.
Just say everything is ‘fine’.
Don’t show you are feeling vulnerable.
Don’t show you are stressed.
Don’t show you don’t know.
Beat yourself up for being so stupid, but only after they have gone.
Do show when you’ve punched through the challenge.
Do show when you’ve beaten the opposition.
Do show when you’re ok.
Do show when you’re feeling smart.
Do show when you’ve done a lot of smart things.
Any of these statements running around your own head?
Unvoiced possibly, but still driving your action? Do any of these drive your organisation? You may have a lot of learnt values from your upbringing, your workplace, your friends. You may collectively live this kind of culture. And these result in a set of values, not necessarily your own, that drive the way you live.
It ends up a bit like a set of polarities that you have to choose sides on:
[…] Resilience defined as being all about mental or physical toughness can be a very strong driver within organisations, groups and teams. However, instead of enabling flexibility (which is true resilience), it encourages a resistance towards something, a toughening up ‘in the face of ’, a push against. If sustained, this forcefulness leads to brittleness which in turn destroys the possibility of a truer, more flexible set of responses. Being tough can lead to burnout. If this is one of the myths that you are attracted to, you can start to shift your thinking. Start by noticing”.
Chapter 1: Extract The Resilience Dynamic®.